Showing posts with label Canada. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Canada. Show all posts

20 Aug 2008

I'm glad I'm not Canadian....

Not because I have anything against the country of Canada or its people. My relief is a product of these writings on a can of Molson Canadian:
"Only Molson Canadian has true Canadian taste. It comes from over 220 years of brewing experience, a unique cold brewing process and only the finest ingredients this land has to offer. The result is a premium lager that pleases the world's toughest beer critics - Canada's beer drinkers."
What can you expect after reading such words? Not much, actually. Anyone with something other than air between their ears will realise that they are no more than marketing bollocks, of the populist kind.

What comes out of the can doesn't disappoint (when there aren't expectations, there isn't disappointment). Molson Canadian is a non-beer, no distinctive taste, no character, no body; fortunately forgettable. I've had nealko piva better than it.
As I've said, the fantasy written on the can can't be taken seriously. However, I can't help but think, who are the people that write stuff like this? Do people really believe in it?

Molson Candian is not the only one by any means. Stella Artois is doing something similar in the UK, as reported by Boak & Bailey (the bollocks here are of the pseudo-historical kind, though). Gambrinus wants to make Czechs believe that it is brewed with the best ingredients, when most people know that it isn't much more than a cheap version of Pilsner Urquell. Now, the price must go to Quilmes for what's written in the press release announcing the new "Leftover" Red Lager. It is difficult to keep a straight face after reading this masterpiece of marketing fiction:
“Brewed with finely selected ingredients, with a mild aroma, delicate bitterness and creamy flavour. Quilmes Red Lager invites you to enjoy its quality and sofistication.”
But that’s not it, it goes on like this:
“Its copper red colour is the product of finely selected malts and the natural roasting of the barley tannins during the malting process”

Have you seen, read, heard any other beer related gems of marketing magic that made you laugh or hit the roof?


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